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Interested and puzzled
GMH,
I can't undertand why you wouldn't give a birth sib a chance. They had as much as you did to do with this adoption, NOTHING!
Stop and think about this for a moment, if one of your half sibs contacted you and wanted to meet you, Would you honestly slam the door in there face and put them through the same hurt you are feeling now? Is that fair? Just because the Birthmom did it to you doesn't mean the sib is like this! This is like saying siblings are guilty by guilt by association! The sib is hurt and this time by YOU and is that really fair?
I can understand an adoptee fearing rejection of a birthparent when you are searching but you must understand siblings of birthparents search too. We fear all the same things too. We fear rejection too. Anyone involved in searching fears the rejection factor. I'm sorry you had a bad experience. I know it hurt and there is nothing that could hurt worse. But, don't let one bad experience ruin something that could be good and positive. Not everything and everyone is bad.
I helped one of my best friends search for his mother, we found her and she didn't want anything to with him. He was devasted. He has 5 half brothers and a month later, she died of cancer. Right before she died she sent him a letter and said she didn't want him to see her like that, she didn't want anyone to see her like that and that she was sorry if she hurt him, but she had always loved him and hoped that he had always had a better life than she could have given him at the time she gave birth to him. She signed it, I love you and her name.
I'm just blurting now, but this was one of those experiences when you live through it you Never forget. Just wanted to share it.
God bless and good luck
Terri
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