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I placed 10.5 years ago, and I too have no regrets wrt the adoption.
I do love that child. But, not as a mother. I am not her mother and I have not felt like her mother ever. Quite honestly, if I had choosen a closed adoption I might have walked away without a backward glance. But, I knew that I needed to know that she was okay and to know what her life was like. Choosing a fully open adoption has been harder emotionally. It has been impossible to completely walk away and never be reminded. But, it has solidified my stance of no regrets. I made the absolute best decision for that child. She is healthy and happy and I have watched her grow every day of her life.
I don't think you need to feel guilty for being at peace. I wish that more birthmothers could find peace and healing for their lives. I see the torment and pain so many online go through and I wish there were some way to show them how to have peace. But, I certainly don't feel guilty for having peace in my own situation.
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