DinPAis2adopt,
While I understand what you are saying, you have to realize that the original poster, Howdy, was talking about her foster child. These children are in foster care for a reason. Their backgrounds aren't the same as other kids.
In my case, my daughter CANNOT spend the night at someone else's house. There is a high likelihood that she would act seductive to any adult male in the house. She would definitely control and manipulate the situation. She would then regress and we would have to start over in building her feelings of safety and security. It would not be in her best interest to spend the night anywhere but home and in her own bed.
When you say that these kids are just that... kids. Well, I have to disagree. My daughter has experienced more than most adults and unfortunately she only has a 7 year old brain to process her experiences. Even if I trusted the adults, I can't trust her. A child who is a victim of abuse and neglect will not reason in the same way as a child raised in a loving environment.
Having strict rules is what gives these children security. Lack of rules and structure is what makes them insecure. What they need is a loving home and time to build attachments with their families, not time with friends.
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I think it is hurtful for kids (of any situation) to be raised with a fear of everything... being sheltered from the world... boys get hurt playing football, girls get hurt playing soccer, or whatever activity they do. They will grow up and be on their own... they need to learn life skills of dealing with different situations interacting with people.
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A couple of things about the above quote - Comparing playing football to spending the night with another family isn't a fair comparison. There is no similarity of the two. And yes, they will grow up to be on their own, and these damaged children don't yet know how to interact appropriate with their own family, its not time to teach them how to interact with other families.
Sorry, I disagree.