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My husband, though, is afraid that something so elaborate would just point out how much "better" our life is than what the child has had...
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The man is very perceptive.
DH & I put together a photo album of our home, family, the new school, pets etc. We presented the album to our prospective adoptive daughter on the day which we asked her to join our family.
Of course she took the album to school and showed it to all of her friends. The contrast between present environment and future environment was a horrible stimulus for jealousy and ultimately peer pressure.
She was told how she would "never fit in", "why do you want to go live with those rich people (we are far from rich- but of course compared to what she had and where she was...)", "you will not fit in", "you will not be able to make new friends, 'cause the other kids are 'too' different", "the other kids will dress different". I think you get the picture.
Needless to say her friends knew much more than we did (well at least SHE thought they did), and the child decided not to join after family after 4 months of visiitations and just a week prior to placement.
Next time I think we will hold off on the album until placement. BUT, would instead purchase some disposable cameras and nice photo album in which to place the photos. They can them accumulate whichever memories of their present home, school, friends, etc which they would like. Also pictures for pre-placement visitations with us.
