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GMH,
You should be close to your a- mom, she is your mother, your b -mom may have given you life, but your a -mom rasied you. She was there for you , and if you had never found out about the adoption, would your feelings for her be any different? As a birth mom, I can say, that you were handed a bad deal, to get through your whole life, and not know something like this, must have be awful, it would change how you looked a everything. I don't know what your a-mom's situation was, but if you are such a secret, then don't waste your time. When I found my birthdaughter, I wanted to tell everybody who could understand, that I had found the missing peice of my heart. I can not understand, why she would turn on you, just because she couldn't tell the people around her, the truth. If that is the kind of person she is, do you really want to know her? Get the medical info for the sake of your son, and run back to your a-mom. Don't put yourself, and your family through any more heartache. I am so happy that I found my daughter, I would not have missed this for anything in the world, I feel more happy about life, than I have in years, everything has worked out, and we are becomming great friends. I have taken my other daughter to meet her, and they were both thrilled to meet. I think that you deserve more than to be treated like a secret. Maybe your b-mom will come around, but after talking to so many people on this forum, I along with you, are starting to think that some people are better off not being found. I am so lucky, that I have a wonderful daughter, who wants to know me, but my heart brakes for all of you, who look so hard, and for so long, only to be hurt in the end. I was sorry to hear about the loss of your father, I too, watched my father suffer through a long and painful illness, my thoughts are with you. Take care of yourself, and rebuild the family you have, if your b-mom changes her mind, there is always time for a relationship in the future. Maybe when you are in a better frame of mind, after the shock of finding out the truth, and the pain, of losing your father, have let up alittle, you can start again. I would like to be a sounding board for you, if you need one, sometimes, a stanger can be your best hope. Let me know.
Colleen
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