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This made me think back to a time that I didn't really have a word for what I was doing but I just knew that I needed to get back to basic bonding with our 3 year old fosterdaughter. She would come home from 8 hour unsupervised visits with bfamily and want to take a warm bath to 'relax'. Immediately after her bath, I would sit on the floor and wrap her in a warm towel and rock her on the ground for a very VERY long time.I remember sometimes my legs and back would ache SO very bad but I kept doing it anyway. She would suck her thumb and play with my hair,etc. Neither were things that she never regularly did. This was the very first way to 'slow her down' and to bond with her. Now, when she is upset and I am holding her I often tell her to feel how calm my hearbeat and warmth feel to her. She does still resist at times but afterwards it always seems to 'release' her anger and control issues and deep sadness in little bits. Strangely enough, this little girl who is now 7 always thanks me over and over.
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