I'm sorry I don't have a real answer for you. I just wanted to let you know that I feel for you. I am an adoptee. I never actually said that to my mom, but I think some adopted kids wonder what their life would have been like had they remained with their birthmother. The grass always seems greener...but then again a lot of non-adopted kids also sometimes wish they had different parents. It just hurts more to hear the words he said.
I guess what I would do is explain to him that , yes, you are his REAL mom. You were the one who was there since he was a baby caring for his every need. And you are discipling him the way a real mother should. He may not have come from your belly, but he came from your heart, and I would definitely let him know that you were hurt by what he said. He should know that he can't use the "you're not my real mom" line whenever the heat gets too high, and he doesn't have any other excuse for his bad behavior. That's a cop out. Sounds like he knew he had no other defense for what he did, so he tried to channel the discussion in a different direction.
I'm sure things will work out. I wish you all the best.
Louise
