|
My twins did this to me a couple weeks ago and I was suprised by how much it stung(their 15). They were also very angry.
This is not the first time this has happened with various kids and I've done different things. This time, I was simply honest about how I felt. I told them that I understood they were angry, but it was very hurtful to me that anytime they didn't get their own way, I was suddenly a useless nobody to them.
I've asked them what a real mother is or waited for them to ask me something and told them "sorry, fake moms don't do that"
I've acted shocked and said "Really? What did you do to my kid?"
or "does that make you a fake kid?"
I also explained to a teen once that all teens get angry at their parents and have times when they hate them and it has nothing to do with being adopted.
I've also asked them if I'm not their real mom, where is she?(my kids were adopted older and the child I said this too knows where his bmom is and wants nothing to do with her. He trades the real mom thing back and forth to whichever he's mad at that day. Careful about using this one)
Don't withdraw, this has nothing to do with you or even being adopted. He was angry and struck you where it hurts. It's unfair, and when he's calm, talk to him about it.
I would also consider drug rehab/therapy before he gets arrested. He needs to understand that even pot can have real consequences as it is illegal.
|