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I have no direct experience, I apologize, but I will try and help.
You need to explain to your son that he can hurt you, but it will not make you any less his mom. In fact, the only reason you don't kick his fanny to the curb for all of the transgressions is because you are his mom. You stand by him through the good and the bad. Who else does that for you but your mom.
It is the unconditional love you had for him in your heart that you shared the very first time you held him.
I would cancel the trip today and maybe go later this weekend to give yourself some space. Instead tell him to stay home in a stripped down room, no TV computer etc, and you go out to lunch with a friend or to a movie. Take some time and space and tell him you want to speak to him this evening and that he better be prepared for a serious discussion about life.
Life is only made better by the people who know, love and support us. He needs to be told (better than shown) that life without that love and support can be cruel and lonely.
Good luck!!
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