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Everything I've ever read about this says that yes, the kids still love their first parents, even if the abuse was horrific. It's SO great that you want to keep M safe. Have you asked him what he wants? Maybe some time (my cousin swears by conversations in the car -- they can't go anywhere and distractions are a minimum) you can casually ask him about her... see how he reacts. If he seems interested and can talk about her without being afraid, you can bring it up again a week later. After a few conversations, ask him if he'd like to hear from her.
And, of course, asking a professional is always good. Have you posted in the other forums, for parents who have adopted from the foster system? There are some specialists over there... I'm not sure if they come over here.
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"Do not put your faith in a cape and a hood
They will not protect you the way that they should
And take extra care with strangers
Even flowers have their dangers
And though scary is exciting, nice is different than good.
.... Isn't it nice to know a lot? And a little bit... not.
--Stephen Sondheim
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