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fosterma,
I just read your reply after I posted to macrod.
I do feel much empathy for the foster parents, I am sure they love this baby very much to want to adopt her. But, of course, at the same time I feel for my sil who never wanted to give up her baby in the first place. She very sincerely regrets that she put her child in this position in the first place. But, if she gives up and lets this family adopt her child, she gives up forever. She is still young and would have to live with that decision for the rest of her life. I can't even imagine giving up one of my children, so my heart goes out to her.
I feel horrible for not doing more when she was in prison and trying to make sure this child didn't go into foster care in the first place. My in-laws feel very different about all of this and treat my sil like a stranger. I understand they come from a small town, but being Christian it upsets me that they have no desire to help in anyway. I didn't even know when she was due and didn't find out until a month later that she had even had the baby. I can make excuses all I want, but what it really boils down to is that I was too pre-occupied with my own children to take the time to do something back when it probably would have made more of a difference. My children are still young, they are 7, 5 and 4. What do I tell them when they are older and want to know why I didn't do anything to help this baby that cannot decide anything for itself? I am so torn. Part of me says to just let it go, the other part of me is saying do what you can to help.
I am just at a loss...
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