Well--I have to say that in either situation I think that the father should make the choice! Either way, he is financially responsible for the baby. It is unfair for a Mother to push adoption because she doesnt want to raise the child AND SHE doesnt want the father to raise the child either. That is not her place to decide. (IMO)
A father can get just as much help to raise his child as a mother can (WIC, medical, daycare, etc.) It isnt fair for him to have to live up to a different standard or any standard that a mother would never have to meet! And I just dont think that it is fair to 'put him on the spot' by meeting face to face with the people who want to raise his baby, unless he requests it. I didnt even meet my daughter's parents until after she was born!! What if I changed my mind?? I would have had HUGE guilt and that guilt would have clouded my decision. I agree with Nic--this is between the MOTHER and the FATHER! It isnt anyone's place to step in...the agency should say to come back when they get it all straightened out! ( I Know that wont happen
-- but it should!)
Christine