[michellemartin]

I still think you should meet the bfather. Not to sell him on open adoption, but just to know if he really wants to parent the child. Kara's parents may never know that my bf wanted to. They were never able to meet with him alone, and I doubt he would ever bring it up with me present. He's comfortable with it now, and even felt in the end that it was the best for her, but if I were a p-aparent, I would want both parties to be comfortable with their decision. I'm not talking about selling the adoption idea here, but if you know he's not comfortable, then I would think for it to be a time to step back. I totally agree that it is something that should be worked out between the b-parents. An agency is definitely not the place for a p-birthfamily to go for counseling. I feel that they should only be there if that is going to be the outcome to the situation. If one wants to parent and the other one does not, I dont think either parent should then be talking to an agency. If I had to go back and do it all over again... I'd still sign, and I'm sure bf would have also, but I think I would have been a bit more diplomatic with him. In my case we're still together, and I feel the right thing for the agency to have done would be to have stepped back for a bit until he was more comfortable with the adoption.