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Father doesn't want to surrender
<<<I'm saying that if the agency pressures the birthfather into relinquishing because the birthmother wants him to, that doesn't seem right.>>>
Well, it *isn't* right. It is wrong.
Many agencies do try to pressure fathers into surrendering. It happened to my son.
Quite often what they call "trying to help the birthfather (who isn't even a birthfather yet) to see the benefits of adoption" is really just coercing him. The coercion my son was exposed to was unbelievable.
The bottom line is...no matter how many "benefits" everyone else believes there are to adoption, some people just aren't interested and that is their perogative. It is particularly horrific when an agency insists the father has some sort of moral obligation to surrender just because the mother wants to surrender, and he can't be proven unfit.
If the father says he isn't interested in surrendering, the agency needs to TAKE THE HIGH ROAD and cut the situation loose. If they really want to do the right thing, they can help the expectant couple, individually or as a couple, to find resources that will assist them in figuring out what they *are* going to do, considering that the father isn't surrendering. People in situations like this can greatly benefit from counseling, mediation, parenting classes geared towards separated/divorced parents, and individual legal advice.
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