Ok, you said that you are not matched yet with the expectant parents. I would let the Agency deal with the expectant parents IF they chose the Adoption plan. It's not your responsiblity to sit them down and discuss how open you want to be. You said that you have been talking to the expectant mom. Even though the couple are not together, the birthfather has a right to decide if he wants to parent. I wouldn't push this couple into anything (which I am sure you are not doing). Just let the Agency handle the situation, that is why we pay them their fee. There is always a chance when you pay living or medical expenses and the mom or dad wants the adoption plan, they could possible change their minds.. That is the risk that we take.. And if they decided to let you parent, how is that stealing their baby?
I'm sure I wasn't much help.. Sorry..
Cathy