[bridges]

Laura Sue,

My a. parents did not change my given name. My b. mom calls me Carolyn Kay. My a. mom always called me Carolyn, as does my husband, his family, and current friends. I don't think of myself as either. I'm KayC (or kc) in my mind. What's that got to do with this?

When I was your age and my a. parents were still alive, I did not search for my b. family for fear that they would be hurt. I understand how they might have felt. I don't know if that was a mistake or not. After their death, I felt a lot more freedom in the area. But now I realize how much I missed because of the lost years -- missed experiences, b. family members deceased, lost memories/documents to help really learn the truth.

The so called experts says we should spend quality time alone with each of our children. Perhaps the comparison should be made to each of our parents. I would not spend time with one child and talk about the other child. I would spend time with each, focusing on each. Should we treat our parents the same way?

Now Carolyn or Carolyn Kay? Do I choose to be Carolyn or Carolyn Kay? I choose to be neither.

Don't give up the search. But do consider your families.

(((Hugs)))

kc

A person who give away love always has plenty of love left over.
A person who withholds his love has none left.