[DanniGirl]

Hi all!

I was curious if those of you in open adoptions could tell me what your children call their birth-grandparents? Yesterday I stopped by my daughter birthmom's work to drop off some of the latest pictures I had taken of S; she is going out of town today for a competition she is in and I thought the pictures might give her an extra boost. While there I asked her how her mom was doing and that I think about her every time I pass her house (which is several times a week since she lives on the road that leads to town). C said that she was okay and that I could go by her work and see her if I wanted too. I said sure and she called her mom to make sure it was okay.

B the bgrandma has not seen S since Nov. of last year. She had made plans she could not back out of when we had our visit at the park back in May with C and her husband. When I got there the lady at the front desk asked if S was B's granddaughter and I said yes and she asked if I was B's daughter.....it was at this point I realized I'd stuck my foot in my mouth; I just said no I am a friend. As soon as B got up there and we got away from everyone I told her I wasn't sure what she had told everyone about S, but explained the event with the receptionist. She said that everyone she worked with knew the situation. Thank goodness S was in a wonderful, happy mood and went straight to B. As we went around the office one of the first people she introduced us to asked B "So, what does she call you?" It was an awkward moment for B and I could see the pain in her face as she tried to explain, so I just spoke-up and said "Well we call her Grandma B" and this satisfied the person. So, I just referred to her as G-ma B while there.

On a side note, all of her co-workers were friendly and nice, but I could tell it was a bit uncomfortable for them. I guess they didn't know how to act since most people don't understand how open adoptions work. One lady though was rude and asked B "Is the first time you've ever seen your granddaughter?" Poor B was trying to answer her but she just said it again only louder this time looking straight at me. B just said no, but that it had been a long time. Anyway, B was so happy that I brought S up so she could show her off to her co-workers. As we left I hugged her and she started crying. It broke my heart. B is the perfect g-ma type that sews, crochets and cooks like nobodies business. I just wish things were different for her. C (birthmom) doesn't want her dad ever to see S or know where she went due to the fact he physically abused her as a child. All he knows is that C gave the baby up for adoption. Until C changes her mind this means we can never go to B's house for visits. I hope within the coming years that C can resolve some of her anger and allow her family to know and enjoy S....

Ok, so back to my main question (sorry I started straying there) what, if anything other than there name does your child call his/her birth-grandparents? Does it make birthmom's feel left out or hurt that everyone else is called g-ma this or aunt that while they go by their name? S doesn't really talk yet so it's not a problem, but I don't want any hurt feelings in the future.

Thanks!
Danni