|
Biggest stressor
We had a terrible time coming up with references because most of the people we socialize with are family. We have few close friends and we had moved within the past three years so we didn't have local people who knew us well and the old people hadn't seen us in several years. Plus, there just weren't that many people who knew us both well.
We chose my mother's common-law husband (not technically a relative, but someone who had known us for 10+ years). We chose our next door neighbor from our previous home because we knew she thought we walked on water. And we chose the man who was the best man at our wedding and DH's long time friend.
We selected people who had seen our lives up close, who knew our values and who would say nice things about us. Two of our references had grown children (the neighbor and my mom's beau). The SW interviewed my mom's beau because he was the only one who was local. DH's friend isn't married and doesn't have kids.
If you have a lot of choices, I'd pick the best writers and the ones who are most enthusiastic about your plans and the ones who know you both best.
|