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Age
Our son was 11 when he began visiting with us and placement took place six months after start of visits. He turned 14 this year which is why I say - don't give up getting to bottom of problem (and you may have to get to that bottom many times before you are done) so this child not only has a life but also a childhood!
Thanks too for the encouraging words to keep writing ... I feel like I'm looking in the mirror as I can feel the same emotions we have been through in many of the same situations and just want to help ... as I said - both my dh and I wish we had that help so we weren't constantly relying upon professional opinions or diagnoses ... even one fact of our experience that could be similar to your sons could take you in a direction that will mean much quicker resolution to the pain.
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