What I write may come across with demanding implications - please know it is not meant that way ... I just wish that two years ago someone (especially the psych professionals had been as up-front with us!) had clued us into some additional information ... and it may not all fall together in my words but will come across.
Bi-Polar kids can control their behaviors until they reach a certain point in the "rage" that is going on inside of them and then explodes further ... kids with PTSD and Bi-Polar also often exhibit behaviors associated with Disassociative Disorder
(
http://www.cmhawrb.on.ca/disassociation.htm will start you for reading on that - it too is scary so be warned) and thus when they are through this "cycle" that they just exhibited they can clearly verbalize their regrets as well as their attachment and like of things such as living where they are or be in complete denial of any of what occurred. We had alternating sessions of both!Very hard to take and just as hard to understand! The hardest thing to understand is that at some point they will all happen at the same time and then you will have violence and more than likely that violence will be directed towards a loved one (sibling) and don't put yourself in a position of regrets ... no - I'm not telling you to disrupt and I know you have many safe-precautions already in place due to the nature of the problems but re-review those and see if you need even more. Trileptal can be a miracle drug for many or the worse thing for others ... our son too was on a very low dosage and for about 8 days we were in heaven with the change in him and then it/he regressed and increasing the dosage gave us a few good days and then whap! and you can't do that indefinitely. This is when he almost succeeded twice in suicide attempts (which had been voiced verbally for some time prior) and one homicide attempt but it would have been a homicide against him ... sometimes their goal ... as he infuriated a peer so much that the peer literally threw him over and down a flight of school stairs ... that and an attempt (and again almost success in a house being monitored 24/7) of murdering the sibling caused us to process through a CPS investigation after refusing to bring him home from the hospital following another psych eval (no children's ward ... no admittance unless actual violence had been successful) and forcing admittance into a program and further long-term RTC and to this day - he states - he loves us, he wants to come home BUT without rules, expectations and permission to be violent if and when he wants and sees nothing wrong with the forced sexual perpetration of a peer there at the RTC and expects it could occur again. So am I scared for him - yes! Have we given up on him - no! We just have accepted what we must do to get him the services he needs and step back for them to take place. Hard - yes ... Regrets - no - other than we wish we could do more to make him healthy and happy!
And now that I have written a book I should stop (for now) to make sure I haven't angered you as well as let you take in what I wrote and fire back questions if you wish ... as I said no one understands what you are feeling until you have been there and our son has been in an RTC 17 months with little or no progress and it hurts just as much today as it did the first time I made the 911 call and the second until the last one when forced to force services.
