Dl And love 4,

I so agree with both of your posts. So many times in a reunion situation the mantra is show respect, understanding and patience. Until it comes to aparents fears in a reunion. There is not many that faced with rejection take to it very well. Aparents ARE FACING REJECTION from the children that they have investing tons of energy and love.

I am not saying an adoptee should not search if aparents don't agree, what I am saying is that to call them mean and selfish is not fair. To say that "aparents insecurity" is terrible, or not important is pretty self centered ....
Iam saying attempt to show how much you do understand their fears....how the fact that they are mom and dad will never change...it may take time but thats waht reunion is all about. Giving each one of us involved the respect, time and patience
that the rest of us want.....

If in fact the aparents will not understand no matter what...then the adoptee should be understanding enough not to through it in their face....if one is adult enough to search and take whatyever repercussions their may be in a reunion..then you will be able to have the materurity to do waht you need to do, using the least amount of hurtfulness possible.

In a perfect world all parties would rise above and do whatever is best for all involved...but we are not perfect....