Quote:
|
adoptive moms who struggle with reunions are not mean or selfish people. It is easy to say they are mean and selfish but you have not felt what they feel. It's easy when their kids are young to have such confidence that a reunion is something you will help your children with. There are not any adoptive moms here in reunion to tell you what it is like. Would their feelings be acknowleged and understood if they spoke of them here on the forum? Looking underneath what seems to be selfishness you may find fear. You may find such a deep love for their child and many insecurities. They just may not know how to express those fears and insecurities. They are not mean and selfish. love4
|
I absolutely agree with you! I don't think the feelings of aparents are based on
mean and selfish. I believe it is more a feeling and fear of potential heartbreak.
IMO, most parents strive to be the best parents they can be. But in spite of the best intentions, there is a natural feeling that one could have done more, done better, done different. If an adoptee does not offer reassurance that their aparents will always be their parents ~ that searching is not about finding
replacements, those feelings would be brought to the surface ~ and IMO, natually so.
To have a lifetime of love and parenting potentially dismissed would make most question their value. Consider a spouse ~ that is left for another. Many question their own self worth as a husband/wife when they see themselves dismissed and replaced.