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Gosh it breaks my heart to see so many people being unsupportive or at least careless with people's feelings.
We had a baby shower hosted by my SIL before we brought our daughter home from India. We were very selective about who we invited -- family and friends who had already expressed enthusiasm and interest in our plans. Nearly everyone RSVP'd -- I think I had to track down two people out of 30.
For our daughter's naming (we're Jewish, I hope you don't mind the post) we invited the same people who came to the shower, plus the neighbors who had been so excited for us they'd brought gifts for our daughter when we brought her home. We'd specified no gifts because almost everyone had already given her something. Again, only one or two people didn't RSVP.
We were really quite touched by all the enthusiasm.
I do think people are rude and don't respond to any invitation. It might have nothing to do with adoption--I know brides are having a terrible time getting RSVP's for wedding invitations.
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