[ktm2004]

Hi everyone. I need some advice. Several months ago I was contacted by the agency that placed me who called to let me know my bmom had contacted them. I don't think she called to ask for a search but only to see what limited info they could give me. It was her first call to them since I was placed in the 1960's. Since my name was on their waiting list to have them help me with a search they called and asked if I was interested in making contact with her. I was totally freaked by all of this (see my prior post on the adoptee support forum for all the details) and I agreed to write the first letter. It took my a month of agonizing and tears to finally get that first letter written and sent off to the agency for delivery. In the letter I basically told her thanks for life, told her I'm having a great life, have a great afamily and that I did not resent her in any way, knew her decision was made out of love for me and that I respected and thanked her for her difficult choice. I gave her an overview of my childhood and life -- using only non-identifying info- and sent her abotu twenty photos form childhood to the present. The following week I recieved a short letter from her with a promise of a longer letter in the future. A month later I received a long letter from her with the much anticipated first photos. It has been a truly amazing and emotional process so far.

Now I'm writing back to her and have found that I am having a hard time figuring out just what to say to her. We are still in the non-identifying info stage. So I am wondering if anyone has advice on what sort of things I should be telling her in my letters. I don't want to ask a huge litany of questions because I don't want to overwhelm her and scare her off. She has never told her husband and children about me. I am just curious to know what bmoms really want to know from the kids they placed for adoption.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks, K