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There is another active thread addressing the same issues of unsupportive spouses...I saw it just yesterday. It seems that many biomoms end up with "controlling" men. I kicked one to the curb last year.
Reunions are shaky in the best case scenario...Fatbirdy's situation can offer a lot of insight on what damage a spouse can do to the process...go back and read some of her older posts. As a result of her biomom's husband, she has had to sever a relationship.
My suggestion is to postpone searching until there can be a clear network of support. If you go read some of the many threads where adoptees (like Fatbirdy) are hurt because they can't even meet their sibs due to spouse's controlling the situation, you may get a beeter understanding of the feeling this evokes in them. That's a lot of emotional baggage to put onto someone in the early stages of reunion.
Just my opinion.
~Deb
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