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I think all of these questions and concerns are fairly valid.
In order to be accepted by an agency with the intent to complete an adoption, you'll have to prove that you've learned from your past mistakes and that they will not be repeated.
Just like other prospective parents who have things in their past that make people question their ability to parent, you'll have a harder road ahead of you than if you did not have this in your past.
I'd recommend parenting classes, more experience with young children, getting a strong support system, finding a way to prove you have a strong support system, a good relationship with a doctor who takes emergency appointments (both a family doc for you and a pediatrician for the wanted child), and have emergency nanny service lined up that could step in on a moment's notice (that includes going ahead with whatever pre-approval the nanny would require), staying in therapy, and waiting longer. Use all of those as examples of what you've learned and how you will actively do something different if given the chance to adopt again in the future.
How long ago did this happen? You say you've been in therapy for 6 months, but how long afterward did you begin therapy? Because 6 months isn't long enough to develop the strong support system that you admit you were lacking.
It also may not be long enough for you to fully process the grief that you SHOULD be going through. You don't mention grief in your post at all, and grieving this child you lost is an important part of the process you should be going through.
You will also probably run into issues if you haven't waited at least a year afterward. Most agencies recommend families wait a year after a traumatic event before seeking to adopt a child. Traumatic events include adopting and disrupting - and you had both at once!
And don't forget - "emotionally ready to be parents" is NOT the same as "emotionally ready to go through exactly the same scenario but this time with a different outcome". Nobody can predict who will be jetlagged and ill with a child in pain all at the same time, and it could well happen to you again. Discuss that possibility with your therapist and see where the conversation goes, as you could well discover you aren't as recovered as you think.
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