I understand your feelings. I too searched and searched for many many years. All of a sudden things just fell into place.
My ebook telling my story is in the adoption store. It is called "THe Hummingbird".
Reunion also brings up a lot of emotions. So it is good that you have a therapist "on board".
Does the state you were born in have an adoption record search agency? This would be a state agency that can help you even though yours was a private adoption. In my state the fees are reasonable. What about the lawyer who helped with your adoption? Some are sympathetic although I have spoken with a few who believe that files should be left untouched.
Mine was not a private adoption, but I also did not receive any info. Then the laws here relaxed a bit and I requested my non ID
info. Much later I found out that some of the things on them were not true. That happened a lot when no one ever thought that the info. would be seen and that adoptees did not have the right to know.
I too am angry with the "system". I feel that everyone has a right to know their heritage and whose genes run through their body; to health info. and so much more. We adoptees must stick together and let our voices be heard! (Wow, I am usually a very quiet and shy person. But on this subject I sound almost militant
I wish you much luck and happiness on your adoption search journey.
Snuffie