[nickychaz]

I have not been on the boards for a while because I gave birth to my third child, Alexander Michael, on June 10, 2004. He is healthy, but was born with two huge ear tags which I am told are hereditary. The Dr. asked who in the family has them, but was forced to admit to the that I have no clue.

I love my new son dearly, but wonder how many more times I have to go through the embarassment of admiting to virtual strangers that I have no idea who I am or who my family is. It seem as if I will never be allowed to just forget about my past and live my life in peace. To make matters worse, several of the nurses asked when my mom or dad would be visiting me. At first, I tried to change the subject, but I eventually gave up and simply told them the truth.

I feel so much guilt about being adopted and just can't seem to get over it. No matter how much I try to forget, there is always something, like the hospital incident to remind me. I would really like to know how other adoptees deal with their "adoptive" status. Why can't the states simply open all adoptition files and gives adoptees a shot at having a normal life ?????????