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Originally posted by hpoleon1
Thanks for all your support and caring words! I'm sure I will not know for sure what I want to do until after the baby comes, but as of right now, my heart REALLY is telling me that this is the right decision. I am involved with a local adoption agency in my town, and have just started with choosing what type of parents I want. Hopefully within the next month or so, I will get to meet someone. I am planning on an open adoption, with pictures and letters, but I am also keeping in mind that the aparents may not go through with what they say. I will just have to deal with that if the time comes.
So for right now, I am just taking it one day at a time, and hope that I make the right decisions. Thanks again for your stories and I will post again soon!! --Heather
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Be sure to do some reading too... see what you legal options are in your state with open adoption. There are only seven states with laws on the books and not all those states will enforce the law.
Open adoption is great, and when it works it is wonderful for everyone. It eliminates the questions of who I look like, or is my child still alive.
But once the adoption is final the ball is in the adoptive parents court. If they are frist time adoptive parents they won't really know if open adoption works for them. In many states the adoptive parents can close an adoption at any time and there is no legal recourse for the birthmother.
It isn't that they are bad people, they just find it sometimes too overwhelming. Or it isn't what they really want after they try it.
Adoption can be a wonderful option. But it is a permanent answer to a sometimes temporary problem. You will also have to explain to your 5 year old why you are not bring baby sister or brother home. Some children will think if you don't like them you will give them away too. So watch for some changes in your 5 year old after the adoption takes place.
Good luck with your decision.