[Katrina Ann E]

I certainly understand all the recent points of view that have been discussed. Except for the description of a basket of snakes, which I also hate, I am nothing to be feared. In the past 50 years, most intelligent and caring people understand what motivated the decisions of women in the 50's, 60's and 70's when it came to an unexpected pregnancy. And to think that in the year 2004 your family additional children and other relatives would chastise you for a decision made 40-50 years ago is hard for me to understand.

My birthmother does not even acknowledge my existence. She swears she never had a child and refuses to even speak to me. If by some small chance, which I doubt, she is not the woman, although she is named on my birth ceriticate, why not be willing to speak to me to clear it up. I have a lot of other supporting information to back up my identification of her. And if she does not want a relationship of any kind, then why keep me from my birthfather? All I need is a name. His was not required on my BC in 1954. She was not assaulted, they were dating. So there is no danger of bring up a violent or painful memory that I would completely understand.

My silence at this time is only prompted by the fact that I do not have the resource to take a trip to her home town. But I will. I do not view it as a gift of compassion to her or her other family members. Some who already know about me and her unwillingness to acknowledge me. To view my life and existences as a secret to be feared insults me. And I refuse to view it in that manner. Although our rights and wishes my clash, that is something that is just going to have to be dealt with one day. I even opted to speak to her without her husband knowing. But she was not willing to do that. If having him find out was a supporting factor for keeping me hidden, he has now passed away and she is still unwilling to even acknowledge my birth. Decisions were made for me that I had no voice in. I am now in a position, to let my voice be heard and to make request and I am going to exercise that right. If she doesn't like, then, well, I'm sorry. We could have made this easy, but she chose not to. Why should I as the adoptee be made to make all the concessions?