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therapy
We don't participate in therapy with ds; he has therapy alone. He is just now in a place that is giving him assignments on his sexual offender status. I hope he will do as well as your dn is doing. Your dn has made a big step in the right direction; being apart from where the abuse occured, he will do better.
Our 16 year old is doing much better. My wife doesn't believe in "time outs," she does "time ins." He has been by our side a lot lately, and it has made a big difference. No, he was not close to ds; the 13 year old daughter was best friends. We have kept her busy, and very involved in family things; she even walks, nightly, with my wife and me; it has made a big difference. We seem to look at our family differently. I thought we were a very close family, but lately we are even closer; no one wants to lose anyone else.
You'll find that getting away from home will do wonders. It will be good for dd too.
My other six are just so relieved to have ds gone, they don't ever mention him. I took the 15 and 16 year old brothers to see him on one staffing day; they ignored each other, and didn't want to see him again. The 15 year old was hurt more by this than the 16 year old; just a difference in personality, I guess. The 13 year old has gotten involved in more things, and frankly, it is for the better that she forget him; he was not a good influence. Kids are very resilient, but we are watching close for signs of trauma.
I am thankful, for your dn only perping once; it should be easier to work with, insted of having four victims and many perps. Ours is so much more than the sex part; his list of deviants is long.
We told the RTC to not encourage him to call home; he has two free calls a week; the calls need to be on his own. He shows no empathy or remorse; he'll be happy wherever he is. His RAD is extreme, and he'll probably not get much help anywhere he goes. His next step would be foster care until he reaches 18; that doesn't make sense, but that's how it works. I just take it one step at a time.
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