[Mysticah]

5 years ago we were virgin parents! Longing to have a child to call our own. We went through infertility treatments. Had to stop because my employer was sold out and the new employers insurance did not cover infertility treatments. So we began the long road to adoption. We applied in 1996 only to be thrown into a drawer at DHS never to be seen again............until late 1998. We were then brought out, the dust wiped off and we were on our way. One day out of the blue I received a call at work wanting to know if I was interested in a 6 year old girl they needed a placement. Heck, I didn't know if I was interested.....I had no idea...........I didn't even know the process after I said yes. We drove 4 hours to visit a cute little girl who instantly called my husband "dad". She didn't take to me very fast, as she had a 'mom'. Needless to say the whole visitation etc lasted less than 2 weeks and she was placed in our home. We had no information on her. We didn't even know her last name!

She was a beautiful child that always smiled at us. Everything made her smile. BUTTTTTT what we didn't know was when we turned our backs, school, daycare, neighbors, bus.......she became someone else! She hit, she bit, she scratched she pushed everyone who was trying to be nice away from her. When she would come home "Everything was great, wonderful, no problems".

It wasn't long and she began to show these habits at home. 2-3 hour tantrums, screaming at the top of her lungs, for no reason. We went to therapist after therapist. No help. We went to school meeting after school meeting, no help. I left those feeling like I was the guilty one..........

Finally one day in 5th grade we noticed it had all disappeared. The physical abuse of others, to the verbal abuse of others, to an 11 year old really wanting friends. 5th grade was her magical grade. Her teachers were giving us outstanding comments, she finally had sleep overs, and FRIENDS!

YES its difficult adopting a child from the foster care system. Especially when you are not educated!!!! But in the end, there is a reward. You can look back and where you have been with them and see the success of where you are. It's not always rosy. There are many bumps in the road. But eventually it will all pay off. As one social worker told us, "Imagine yourself placed in a foreign country that you have never been to. You don't know the rules, you don't know the language......" Thats what a child feels like being placed in your home.

We are working on our second one. Up until this year, we were'nt ready. 5 yrs later............