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There is a reason why they call these situations 'legal risk' adoptions - because until pbdad's parental rights are terminated either voluntarily or by the courts there is the very real risk that you will not be able to adopt.
This young man is a putative father - i.e. a biological father not married to the child's biological mother. Putative father rights and responsibilities vary quite a bit from state to state. Your best option is to speak with your attorney about the laws in your state and evaluate the risk.
As far as financial demands outside what is legally allowed, your attorney will need to explain to this young man that what he is asking for is very illegal and that if he persists they'll be forced to report them to the police. That pretty well puts the lid on that issue. Under no circumstances should you yield to these demands, as it can cause the adoption to be voided and can expose you to charges as well.
HTH,
Regina
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Thoughts become Words. Words become Actions. Actions become Character. Character is Everything.
"It will all be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end." - My friend Amy
"As God is my witness," Mr. Carlson insists, "I thought turkeys could fly"
Philly Area AParents Meetup! http://adoption.meetup.com/117/
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