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bmom apathy to fp
I can relate. We helped out some homeless girls whose bmom is drug addicted and has mental health issues. For only a week, mind you. Now she goes around telling my hubby's boss (he works at a school) that we are harassing them (really the other way around, we have kept complete distance from them!), and telling people that we are "Satans" and trying to "steal" her kids! All this from trying to help, and letting her 3 girls stay with us for one week! Thankfully, the whole small community knows her, and they don't believe it, but she knows where we live, and that bothers me.
I really agree with HappyMomAnna, that we are perceived as the enemy, and her kids got taken away from her at the time we were in the picture, and she had to go to jail (for drug possession), and in her mind, we were the cause of it.
Don't take it personally. In her mind, YOU are the problem, not herself. YOU are part of the system that took away her kids and want her to change.
But from this experience, I now KNOW that any "open" adoption we go into will be letters through a PO Box, or supervised visits at the agency....no more dealing in person with druggies for me.
Maybe you should get there early and leave the child with the sw? This way, you don't have to deal with her. At my agency, they even go so far as having the fparents go down a different set of stairs so that they don't meet up with the bparents. I certainly wouldn't want the bmom who ignores me or treats me badly opening up my car door and taking out the child.
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