Well you may not know me, but I have read your story from the beginning (when you identified the country and were so excited about going to get her at the beginning etc,...) . I have been there and lived with the people. I understand FULLY that the children of that country are their most precious resource and they are VERY VERY VERY cautious about allowing "unrelated" adoption. So few orphans in fact (when I was there 10 years ago) because the extended family almost always steps up. Its an amazing, warm hearted place!!! And they value their kids!
Firstly, can you find ANYONE else who has been successful at this? I would beg to find a "mentor" a "buddy parent" who can tell you WHAT is important to them. I know how very few children go to "non-national" families living in the states ... but heh, good thing is that once you adopt ONE child from there you are considered a "national" family
Things I personally would put in the letter -
1) Itemize your commitment to this SPECIFIC child. How have you arranged for her care in your absense. How have you already taken responsibility for her when you heard she was in need. How much have you invested financially in this specific child (to show the depth of your commitment). Talk about how you named her and why ... what the names mean to you, Is she referred to by those names? etc
2) Talk of your bond with her (ie pics around your home, grandparents perspective, contact you have iwth her now through foster family etc)
3) Talk of her bond with you. explain how she is shown pics / video of you both and referred to as her parents (explain that this decision was made before you realized the length of the time it would take)
4) Talk of the preparations you have made for the future - to help THIS child adjust to your family. That you have read books on transferring her attachment to you ... that psychologicall you already feel that she is your child are have made a life commitment to her.
5) Talk about why you feel that you can support her culture/language/religion in your home. THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO THIS GOVERNMENT!!! That you will continue to have close ties with this country ... with her heritage, relatives etc. Explain how important this country will ALWAYS be to you and to her. (emphasize this part!!!) Talk about your knowledge of the country ... how you want to train her and teach her etc...
And I would confirm with the agnecy WHY they think you should put this info in. If there is a reason, I would follow their advice. You could preface this by saying "our commitment to baby is for life and we will always consider her a member of our family, but because we feel so connected to *Country* and its people, we would be honored to adopt another child as well from your wondeful country" etc You have said essentially the same thing but without eliminating the desire for your daughter.