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Yes I am angry and in pain about my own story... It is very recently that it actually dawned on me ... my difference to most of those searching here... I was NOT 'given' up for adoption. My birthmother was killed in a car accident when I was 18 or 19 months old.
My anger is directly at my 'a-mother' as she is refered to here ... because she did everything she could to destroy any evidence that my birth mother ever existed. I have 4 or 5 pictures of her as a young adult. That's it... and why? NOT because I could ever RUN to her... she's dead... what was the point? It was a family adoption.... oh a-mother was NOT my birth mother's birth mother... but her father's second wife.... again... just what was suppose to be gained by destroying any evidence that she ever existed?
I have, in my life - and I am 47 years old, met many many people who where adopted... the ones that are happy healthy adults and have great relationships with thier adoptive parents where the ones who's adoptive parents were honest with them when they asked questions... kept as much info as possible for them should they want it... the ones who were messed up where the ones who were lied to and decieved....
Now there isn't any reason to blurt out info, but have it available... answer questions....
I think that one of my problems is that at 18 months old I knew who my mother was... I have a feeling that it was quite confusing to have someone I barely knew (It was my understanding that my Birth mother and amom did NOT like each other)... anyway I think it was confusing to have someone I barely knew tell me that she was b-mom and real b-mom never existed.
again... anyone else out there with similiar experiences??? I would love to have someone to chat with about this... as most have no understanding of how it feels....
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