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More ...
I am glad to be able to support you ... as I said until you have experienced all these feelings ... including the relief of assistance after an "episode" you do not understand and having been there and done this, I/we do.
Our child was placed with us at age 11 (after 5 months of regular visits) - diagnosed ADHD only - but had been in constant therapy and determined ready for adoption. The first six to eight months were super - great strides made in all areas - maturity, schooling, etc. only to be followed by what seemed like a slow but realistically rather fast regression into paranoia and eventually suicidal attempts and attempts to hurt the members of our family. Hospitalization led to referral to RTC (where he has been for 15 months with little or no consistent progress) which has now determined that this child will only repeat these behaviors if he returns to us but is now ready to step down into a treatment care home ... which required us to return 'care and custody' to the state (Medicaid pays for RTC but not foster care environments unless you are under DSS custody) so that is where we stand. This child (now 14) recently had a potential family decline his placement after several visits and determination they topo could not meet his 24/7 montioring needs (which helped us in some ways understand it wasn't just us but is very saddening at the same time). We have participated in regular therapy making sure the only promise we make is to support his treatment plan and goals and to always be here if he needs to talk. That may sound simplistic but is not - stablity without unreal expectations (thank you great therapist he has!).
So ... as I said - one day at a time and what is meant to be will be - do not let anyone force you too quickly (sometimes DSS/state agencies want to finalize even faster if needs are escalated so they have a home for the child) ... remember as said the courage to love is the courage to know when to hold on and when to let go.
I follow this board regularly - some days several times - other days none but will surely be glad to watch for your posts/questions (especially when you get about 20 days into the 45 day program and you become active in the discharge plan (which whether 10 or 100 days away) becomes priority. It does help just knowing that you are not the first, nor the last, nor alone!
Again - hope this helps!
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