It feels so good to know that someone else has had a similar experience! Your points about expectations and boundaries are so true and I am usually so good w/ them in other relationships! I think I may have been deluding myself about all my expectations! It appears I did expect bmom to be a "nice" person. Now I'm in limbo about the info she gave me about biofather and whether i have the courage/strength to look for him. Thank you so much for your support!!! At least I am beginning to realize the upheavel I am feeling is related to this process-not because I haven't worked "hard enough" on myself!
