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Hi
I was just reading this thread and had a thought for moroka, and others who had a shower for the 1st child only.
In my family we always give a huge shower for the first child. The logic is the new parents have nothing, and we help fill the need. But for the next kids, we don't. We don't because we assume the stuff for the first will work for the next. We may have small showers, giving new clothes and such, but not the large, giving crib, stroller, carseat type. The only exception is if there is a very large time gap (not age gap) between children. The thought there is the original items may be sold, or so old they are no longer good.
When I read moroka's post, it made me realize, at least for my family, when it comes to adopted children, we need new 'rules'. For bio-kids, they all come into our homes as an infant. Adopted kids can come in at various ages, so a second child can have needs that the parents cannot fill, and have not yet encountered, so another shower is needed by the family. (My family).
Now, what all this rambling means is sometimes people don't realize you have the need. I will never forget, now. But yesterday, I would not have thought of it. And I am an adoptee.
I hope all this made sense.
Mary
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