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I guess when I think about this, I would NEVER demand that anyone throw me a party. I don't think this has anything to do with bio vs adoptive situations-it all boils down to common courtesy.
A baby shower is a party-a party to welcome the child. Would you demand that your friends throw you a birthday party because you felt you deserved one?
When my second child came home, not a single mention was given by the Church or by my extended family and friends. It still bugs me to this day because I do see the doubestandard. But I would have never dreamed in a million years of asking people to buy me things in the form of a party etc.
I think when it comes down to asking when other people are going to be throwing me a party-I would be so embarrassed if I were one of the co workers asked that.
Yes it is unfortunate that these people didn't think about it. But wouldn't you feel like a total fool sitting at that shower knowing that it was thrown out of obligation and not out of love or friendship?
I totally agree with the other posters about having an open house. I love throwing get togethers so this would be right up my alley. I think this would be a wonderful way to welcome the child as compared to a baby shower thrown out of guilt or obligation-Sarah(mom of 2)
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