For those of you who know me you know that we adopted our youngest d through the foster care system at age 5. She was 2 (almost 3) when she came to live with us.
We had well meaning, but misinformed friends, relatives and even a caseworker tell us that we would always have challenges with her because she was a foster child and "they" come with a unique set of emotional problems.
Our d has always had a problem with lying. But now those lies are out of control. She also steals, everything from other family members items to food and hides it in her bedroom. She has begun taking her very favorite clothing and hiding in in the attic. These are outfits that she adores. I DON"T GET IT.
We have tried individual counseling, and Big Sister programs. Right now we are in family counseling because of the constant sibling rivalry(another story). We have tried taking privelages away, including her trip to summer camp. We told her that good behavior would earn it back but she does not care.
I don't know what else to do. Someone please tell me that there is hope. PLease tell me that those people were not right and that I won't wind up with an overly defiant pre teen/teen that longs for her bio parents(both deceased) and makes our life miserable.
Oh, one more thing I should tell you. She takes meds for ADHD. But only on school days. She get in the most trouble while at home on weekends. I think it is time to start taking the meds all week long so that she can think before she acts. But, I feel so guilty about it. But if it would help her do better she would feel better about herself. I know that it is not an easy out. There are under lying issues that need to be dealt with here.
And also we have the a decision to cut her bio siblings out of the relationship for a while until we can get her under control. We have noticed a strong link between contact wiht her older bio sister (age 19) and her behavior. It is because her sister questions her about every decision we make concerning our daughter and fills her head with crazy deas like "you can come and visit me in New York this summer". Then we have to say no. We have tried talking to the older sister buts that is like talking to a brick wall.
I'm losing it. Someone through me a lifeline, PLEASE!
Thanks for letting me vent.