I am a stepmother to a 10 year old girl, Destiny. Her mother is not out of the picture (not legally), but has been in and out of jail for the last 4 years. Des lives with her father and I, and when her mom is not in jail, we let her go to her house and visit. Her mother lost custody of all 3 of her kids due to drugs. Like I said, she has been in jail for the last 4 Christmas's, the last 4 birthdays, basically the last 4 years period. Even when she wasn't in jail, most of the time she wouldn't come see her kids because she was too busy maintaining her "habit".
We are very open about things with Des, and she knows that her mother has problems. Sometimes I feel I may be a little too blunt about things with her, but if she asks, I tell her.
The problem is, I've been the only mother figure in her life for the last 4 years, but she still worships the ground her mother walks on, even though she knows her mom would rather be out on the streets than with her. I know she is still young and doesn't understand the "ways of the world", and that all she really wants is her mom's attention, but how do you compete with that? Even though I'm the one there for her all the time, and I'm the one she turns to when she needs something, she'll drop me like a bad habit when her mom comes around. I'm not going to take it out on her, because like I said, she's still young. But what do you tell yourself to keep from getting frustrated or upset with her?
Any advice would be appreciated!!!!!!
