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I learned...
I learned to be more judicious in who I mentioned my search/reunion to. I get VERY angry and VERY "tight" when people start to tell me to get over it or question Why would you care? They didn't want you anyway.
Now when I mention it and I get a negative attitude I do one of a couple of things.
1. First I stop and make a mental note that they can't understand because of their lack of exposure to the situation.
2. Then I make a mental note that it isn't important to them and never has been something they have thought about so they are just commenting without engaging their brains. Sometimes at this point I just change the subject or walk away.
3. But...If at that point I think I am dealing with a person who really DOES have a brain I might make a comment to "wake them up". Such a comment might be "You know, it's funny that in this Country we are allowed to stand in Times Square and speak our mind about anything we think.... but we aren't allowed to know the very people who conceived us. We have a constitutional right to the pursuit of happiness, but it is illegal for us to know our natural parents. I am constantly amazed that that lack of a basic right is accepted as perfectly o.k."
4. If the person I am dealing with seems to be defending my Aparent's rights I try to remind them that I was the ONLY one in the equation who had no voice....and would they like to have the entire course of their lives changed suddenly (even for their own good) without so much as an EXPLANATION??? Note at this point my voice is generally getting louder and my veins are starting to pop out!
Generally speaking I feel it best to be more careful about who I mention the subject to.... but if I do mention it and get a negative comment I try to leave an impression that maybe this isn't such an open and shut matter after all. If we don't try to make the public aware nothing will change.
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