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In most cases, with the right therapy and parenting, these children can and do heal. They can and do lead normal, healthy lives and form relationships with others. There are some that do not, but I believe they are the minority. The biggest key is the right therapy and the right parenting(which can vary from family to family and child to child, but must be based on attachment).
As for avoiding power struggles, removing the anger like you've done is great. Don't struggle, but don't ignore the behavior. Natural consequences or imposed consequences related to the behavior are given or allowed. NO arguing, no rescuing. Jim Faye and Foster Cline's Parenting With Love and Logic as well as Nancy Thomas' When Love is not enough have good examples.
When dealing with workers that don't get it, I have found it helpful to get Nancy Thomas' audio tapes for them to listen too.
It seems to help.
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