[Wilsonta]

HELP!! We are in an adoption placement beginning adoption with 2 boys, 5 & 6. The younger appears to have RAD & ADHD and the older appears to have RAD, ODD & is sexually reactive. (He could also be bipolar). No official assessment has been made but we are working to get them assessed. We are in Oklahoma and up to this point thought the state was really working with us. However, I got advice that we should not complete adoption without having them properly assessed & knowing the state will pay for residential care if ever needed. Yesterday, our caseworker informed me that they will NOT pay for residential care. The state provides you will a monthly subsidy & Medicaid health insurance for each child. She said we would have to find someone to take Medicaid. Also, her tone with me was very defensive with put me off guard as well. This is NOT the response I've gotten about anything else with her & not what I expected. The state says they view these kids as ours onced the adoption if final. So, we told her we wanted to put our adoption on hold until we could make a decision because she said the state will not budge on this. Then, the blow came this morning when I get a call back from Dr.'s office who specializes in attachment. They no longer take Medicaid. And to have the kids assessed for attachment is $500-$1200 per kid. He is the best in the area. So, I call our caseworker back & tell her that this is the problem I was talking about. She said (point blank) that the only option is using Medicaid or private insurance (which will not cover all the costs and may not be approved). She is going to look into this for us to see if there is another place to go. I mentioned again how the quality of care was important to me & I felt that if this doctor is the best, I want to be there. Also, it doesn't make sense that they will not pay for it when lack of care or termination of adoption later means the state will pay more ultimately (and the kids pay as well). I found out, too, that if something ever happens where there is violence in our home & someone isn't safe to live with & Medicaid won't pay (rather we cannot locate a facility to take Medicaid) and we are forced to take them back to the state to get them care, the ONLY option is to terminate the adoption through court, then we pay child support for them (instead of maintaining the adoption & them paying for care - ODD & UNFAIR??). She said we should decide if we want to terminate NOW due to this problem & I said "It doesn't make sense that the state would rather pay more money by re-placing the kids KNOWING that they may never be reached then. It's NOT logical." But, this is how Oklahoma operates & she seemed to have no problem having the adoption disrupted rather then help. She told me she had no power to do anything about helping pay for this since it's the state's rules. Other then disrupt, are there any options our there for us? Any advice? Please help!!!