[tobeafamily]

Dublin,

I guess I view this differently - yes, you are grateful that she chose you to parent her child. She should also be grateful to you though in that you were willing to.

Placing a child in an adoption is a way for needs to be met - she needed someone who could and would parent her child. You needed to be a parent. The child needed parents who were ready and able to give them what they need to reach their potential.

In an ideal world, no child would be born to people who aren't ready to provide an enviornment that allows a child to meet their potential. This of course isn't an ideal world.

I sense from your last post that perhaps you're feeling guilty for setting a boundry - no, you cannot always drop everything anytime your child's birth family calls. It's not good for your child, them or you. Boundary setting isn't always happy and fun. Sometimes it's risky, negative, unhappy. When done with love, though, it's the best thing you can do.

Your child's bfamily may understand this, they may not. If not, then have an open discussion about how this relationship will 'work'. It's a relationship, and for it to work there must be give and take for you and your daughter's bfamily.

OK I'm rambling. Hope this makes sense,

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas