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5roman
How old is your child? I ask because my 7 year old daughter, adopted at age 6 after spending about one year in an orphanage, had, and still has very similar issues. There is not as much screaming and raging as there used to be, but she still questions practically anything and everything she is asked to do. At least now, however, she complies most of the time, which is better than where we started. And she knows the meaning of "no backtalk" and "I'm your mother and I'm the boss," (or something similar) which has helped. Two things help me stay sane. One is constantly reminding myself that objectively speaking, up until now she has had no reason to trust her adult caregivers and to work really hard to help her learn that now she can and needs to trust us. The other is attachment parenting. Reading Deborah Gray's Attaching in Adoption, info given by our social worker (we're lucky to have a good one), and actually Mary Hopkins Best's Toddler Adoption (works on regressed 6 year olds too) really helped.
HTH
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