[jamie3]

I have not had the greatest of weekends with the boys. I am so tired (as I always am at the end of the school year) and I haven't been just really patient. I was really stressed, tired and hungry at lunch today and I told my husband that I just wasn't coping with the stress of little kids very well. He is working this weekend so he was just home for a lunch break.

Anyway, we talked about what we should do and he went back to work. We decided to give it some more time and see if I feel better after school is out.

Not 30 minutes after he left, an old friend of ours stopped by. I thought that he probably wanted dh to help with his cattle or something (common) so I let him in. It turns out that he was stopping by to ask us to speak at a public informational meeting about foster care. This area is very rural and very short on foster parents. They want dh and I to come speak to people who are interested in foster care and let them know what our experience is and what our rewards are.

It was a huge wake up call. I realized the second that he asked me to do this that I do have something positive to say about foster care and I really do have a reason to continue. I know that this is not the easiest thing in the world but it's a heck of a lot better than these kids being in the environment they were in. It made me think of why we are doing this and why we are going to continue doing this.

Within one hour I went from wanting to run away from all children to wanting to encourage others who have been led to foster care to give it a shot. I have noticed that I am secluding myself from going many places because I don't want to have to drag all of the kids. However, I think that I need adult interaction and it would be worth it to go out and do instead of staying home and pouting. DH is always going to work a lot of the hours that I am home and nothing can change that. However I can change my lifestyle and not spend the weekend at home cleaning just because he is at work. How much fun is that?

I think I'll go to my sister's or something next weekend so that I am not thinking so much about how tired I am. She has little kids who can play with my little kids and she and I can visit.

Anyway, I really believe that God sent Ted to ask me to talk next week and that I really needing to refocus my attention off of all the work and back onto all of the rewards. I feel so much better than I did a few hours ago! I can do this and I am going to do the best job I can!