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I am not in your situation, so I can only give you advice from the heart.
From what you said it sounds to me like he was bonding and adjusting to life at your house quite well. When the previous FM was put back in the mix he became very confused, and that is the cause of the acting out.
If it were me, I would want the previous FM to have no contact at this time. (This doesn't mean you can't tell her how he is doing, or sending pics and such). The child needs full security where he is, and not be wondering if he is moving.
JMHO
Mary
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