[Joyful Momma]

Just wanted to add one more thought...everything looks great that has been suggested, but I'm guessing that your daughter will still have the "well why doesn't my other daddy want to be with me, does he know I'm here, etc". It also sounds like she has a bit of resentment/anger at why her a-dad wasn't around when she was little.

One of the most important things you can do during this conversation is to reassure, and restate exactly how much a blessing she is to her a-dad. As a woman who always wanted kids, but at 27 was still single and floating, when I met my husband, and he asked me to marry him and to be a mother to his children (ex-wife abandoned family completed after years of psycho behavior), I was thrilled. This was the family God had for me!

Please make sure that you and your husband talk to your daughter together about this. Make sure that she knows that God makes families in people's hearts, not just through blood. The more she feels her daddy's love, the less she'll worry about any people who contributed to her DNA!

My kids love to hear me tell of how I couldn't make a baby yet because I wasn't married, but that God knew that, and wanted me to be a mommy so much that he had another woman give birth to them. They know that I carried them in my heart (I've prayed for my children since before I knew them). They know that they are my "first-borns" and that no matter what, I will always be their mom.

Anyway, just wanted to make sure that she has that daddy-love re-affirmed to her. Might not be a bad idea for "daddy-daughter date nights" pretty soon. My brother-in-law does this with his three girls, where they have a fun afternoon of McDonalds and miniature golf just daddy and daughter.

If you don't make a big deal out of it all, neither will she.